How to Find a Family Therapist
5 Ways to Choose a Good Marriage Counselor
Psychotherapy or marriage counseling provides insight into how you & your partner relate. Family therapy can improve your relationship, or ease the separation process.
The goal of marriage counseling is to discover not only why you’re struggling with an unhappy marriage, but also to change negative ways of relating to one another. Family therapy can reveal and fix the symptoms of an unhappy marriage, and heal unhealthy family dynamics.
A good family therapist may also ease the separation process by providing resources for divorce or support for children. Not every couple who delves into marriage counseling ends up with a happy relationship. A good marriage is the ideal goal of course, but it’s not always possible – even with the best marriage counselor in town.
How to find a marriage counselor:
- Ask around. “The best way to start a search for any professional, from a roofer to a psychotherapist, is to talk with friends who have had a good experience with someone,” says Kirsten M. Lagatree in Keep it Together. You may have to swallow your pride, but asking your friends, family members and colleagues may be the best way to find a marriage counselor.
- Request referrals. Ask your family doctor, school counselor, or even your massage therapist for referrals to a good family therapist. You don’t necessarily need a written prescription, just a professional suggestion. You can also contact the American Psychological Association or the various state or provincial psychological associations for names of marriage counselors who specialize in unhealthy family dynamics.
- Use the Yellow Pages or Google. Many good family therapists advertise in the phone book or through their own website. Google “family therapists in (your city)” or “marriage counselors in (your state or province)”. Often, psychotherapists have websites that allow you to send a blind email so you can remain anonymous. Ask for information specifically about unhealthy family dynamics or unhappy marriages.
- Talk to the family therapist first. Before you jump right into the symptoms of the unhappy marriage, ask the marriage counselor questions such as: What is your training? How much experience do you have? What is your philosophy or therapeutic approach? A good family therapist will be happy to give you information about their education and experience. Make sure the marriage counselor has experience with unhealthy family dynamics or unhappy marriages.
- Trust your gut. If you’re not comfortable with or simply don’t like your marriage counselor, look for a different one right away. If you’re unhappy with your family therapist at the beginning, don’t wait until several months have passed to find a new one. By then, the thought of starting over with a new marriage counselor may be overwhelming.
A good family therapist should be able to either help you deal with the symptoms of an unhappy marriage or ease the separation process for you, your partner, and the kids. Unhealthy family dynamics can be changed, especially with the objective perspective of a family therapist.
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